It’s that time in the semester again: right around week 9 and week 10 I start to feel massive amounts of crushing stress. Overeating and procrastination kick into high gear (both of which make everything worse) and I inevitably end up stressing about how stressed out I am. Talk about healthy productive activities huh?
It really isn’t finals that stress me out – it’s something about mid-semester that just bogs me down. I think it has to do with being in the thick of it – finals, you can see the light at the end, but midterms, projects, papers, and so on in week 9/10 is just “blah”. No end in sight. I know it’s there, but it also isn’t. There’s so much more coming, and so much I am already knee deep in.
I’ve passed two of my CSET exams and only have one left, which I am taking in a few days. Hopefully once I get those out of the way, I can stop worrying about passing tests for the CTC/Pearson* and focus on actually getting an education. Oh, I also feel totally unprepared for student teaching, which begins in August. I have a vague idea of how to be a teacher, but I’ve got a feeling I’m going to show up in a classroom and be like “okay so now what?” – I’ve had exactly one lesson on how to write a good lesson plan, but I’ve had more lessons than I can count on academic theory and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Probably 4/5ths of what I “know” comes from observations in actual elementary school classrooms, not in my college classroom. In college we focus on a lot of the nuts and bolts of how children think and act – which is important, no doubt, but I feel like I’m missing a big chunk of how to effectively teach these kids! My two methods professors this semester are offering a lot of info, but at the same time, I still feel like I’m going to be royally lost come August. How do I transition into a leadership role where I am running the show?
So yeah. I’m stressed about student teaching, big time, but I’m also stressed about what’s immediately in front of me. It’s all so overwhelming and the work keeps piling on, yet at the same time, I feel like it isn’t always the right kind of work.
Maybe next semester when I am done stressing about exams and credential tests, I can start to stress about actually getting a job.
*Until next semester. RICA and PACT. Woo!